Creating Quotas for the Sake of Diversity: A Guide to Destroying Video Game Development

Are you interested in pushing an agenda of diversity?  Are you so wrapped up in the idea of "diversity" that it trumps all logic?  Do you get annoyed when there is an unequal representation of human characteristics, races, genders, and beliefs?

If you are one of these fickle, self-righteous individuals, then relax because you're probably already familiar with the details in my Guide to Destroying Video Game Development.  But, if by chance you are not, then pay attention!

Bioware's latest RPG, Dragon Age: Origins, is a resounding hit.  It's big, bloody, long, and full of interesting characters.  Considering the controversy that arose when Bioware's Mass Effect featured both a lesbian and gay sexual scene, depending on the player's choices, you'd think the company would get more credit when they explore even more sexual encounter options in Dragon Age.  Unfortunately, it just isn't ever good enough for some.

Acid for Blood describes her immediate issue with Dragon Age prior to launching into a full assault on the "supposed and intended" marginalizing of people seeking an equal number of different sexual encounter options:

At this point in the story, there are three NPCs in my party who I know Thurkear can try to romance. However, Thurkear is attracted to the only person she can't have: Morrigan. This is frustrating, as Morrigan represents the most natural and ideal NPC my character would be attracted to, given the background I've thought up for Thurkear. As a player, I really like Morrigan. I was gutted when I discovered that Thurkear's affections would go unrequited.

I can sympathize with her issue, but so can anyone.  Morrigan is certainly one of the coolest characters in the game, and would definitely be attractive to any straight male or any gay female.  Unfortunately, Bioware didn't write Morrigan's character as being bisexual or homosexual, and that is just the way it is.

Life is the same way, and straight males run into this problem just the same as gay women.  What if a straight guy really likes a girl.  He approaches her, they become friends, and then he asks her out.  But, instead of a typical scenario playing out, she tells him that she is homosexual.  Suddenly, he is torn to find out that his affections would go unrequited.  But, that's life.

Acid for Blood takes it to another level when she puts up a correct breakdown of the sexual options available to players based on their own preferences:

There are four NPCs available as romantic partners for your player-character: Morrigan, Leliana, Zevran, and Alistair. Both Leliana and Zevran are bisexual. Both Morrigan and Alistair are heterosexual.

• If you have a heterosexual femaleplayer-character, you have two romantic options: Alistair and Zevran.
• If you have a heterosexual male player-character, you have two romantic options: Morrigan and Leliana.
• If you have a bisexual female player-character, you have three romantic options: Alistair, Leliana, and Zevran. Morrigan will never return romantic affection to a female player-character.
• If you have a bisexual male player-character, you have three romantic options: Morrigan, Leliana, and Zevran. Alistair will never return romantic affection to a male player-character.
• If you have a homosexual female player-character, you have one romantic option: Leliana. Morrigan will never return romantic affection to a female player-character.
• If you have a homosexual maleplayer-character, you have one romantic option: Zevran. Alistair will never return romantic affection to a male player-character.

Having played Dragon Age, I can confirm this is accurate information.  But when she goes on to lament that there are more heterosexual options than not, and that there really aren't any homosexual options, but merely bisexual ones, I lose my patience.

She then attempts to squash the debate by stating that she already knows what the common counter argument is (emphasis mine):

One of the most common defenses of the lack of diversity in videogames and the denial of player choice (a common example: not providing female playable characters), is raising the issue of the creative process. Morrigan and Alistair are heterosexual because that's just the way those characters are. Let's not forget that this is a videogame we're talking about. Every single detail and every single aspect of the game and its characters were designed and created, right down to the sexual orientation of NPCs a player-character can romance. If it wasn't an arbitrary decision to make Morrigan and Alistair straight, if the creative process dictated Morrigan's and Alistair's sexual orientations, and by extension the denial of player choice, then why wouldn't it make sense to create a homosexual NPC that only a player-character of the same sex can romance? Having homosexual NPCs as romance options would deny players romantic choices to the same degree that heterosexual NPC romance options do.

First, nobody believes it was an arbitrary decision.  However, to imply that Bioware purposefully made Morrigan's and Alistair's sexual orientations heterosexual simply to deny the player a homosexual  or bisexual choice is idiotic.  Who in their right mind believes this conversation happened at Bioware?

Dev #1:  We've made Morrigan and Alistair heterosexual to make sure we deny choices to players who have bisexual or homosexual characters.

Dev #2: Good work!

To answer the question about why it wouldn't make sense to create a homosexual NPC to provide options... because not everyone sees the things the way you do.  Not everything is viewed through the lens of victimhood.  The developers at Bioware are more interested in creating unique and interesting characters than making sure feminists "feel good" about sexual orientation choices.

She concludes her thoughts (emphasis mine):

Given the existing romantic options in the game and the respective sexual orientations of the NPCs one is able to romance, it appears that it's okay to provide more choices for straight player-characters than for queer player-characters.And it's this disappointing situation that gamers find themselves in if they play a character that is not straight.

Wrong again.  The fact that there are more choices for a straight player-character doesn't mean it's okay or that it isn't okay.  Actually, it doesn't mean a damn thing.  Thinking otherwise entertains the notion that the developers at Bioware believe that straights are better than queers, and that their games reflect that view.  This conclusion is based entirely on a narrow-minded ideology (feminism), which acts as a lens through which she views her entire world.

Most people don't view their world through such specialized lens.  They don't see everything from the viewpoint of a so-called marginalized woman.  They don't look at a group of people and start counting how many are white, black, Asian, heterosexual, homosexual, and the rest.  They don't pretend to hold up the banner of equality while simultaneously pointing out everyone's differences.  No, these individuals, just like the developers at Bioware, live their lives and view the world through a human lens.

And that's life.  Don't like it?  Create your own video game development company and do things differently.  Oh, that reminds me.  Time for some educational material!

A Guide to Destroying Video Game Development

Ensure that your video game company, rather than hiring based on qualifications and experience, hires based on diversity only.  Not enough black women on your development team?  Fire some of those pesky, rich, and entitled, white women who think they own the world and make room.

When sitting down to develop your game, it's story and characters, be sure to constantly ask the question:  Will narrow-minded feminists, racists, and anyone who finds it easier to blame others like this?  If the answer is no, then your game is probably too good, and you probably haven't fired those snobby, white female developers yet.  What are you waiting for?

When creating characters for your game, be sure to set a quota for the number of different types of characters you have.  Make sure EVERYONE is EQUALLY represented.  Here are a few examples of the types so you can get started.

• White - Male - Heterosexual
• Black - Female - Bisexual
• Asian - Female - Homosexual
• Black - Male - Bisexual

Oh, and don't forget those fantasy classification as well!

• Elf - Black - Male - Bisexual
• Dwarf - White - Female - Homosexual

Remember, the creative process is a joke, as well as artistic expression.  These are the constructs of privileged men.  Instead, the only things that matter during development are "fairness," "equal representation,"  and making sure not to accidentally offend the player, regardless of who they are.

Creating extra and irrelevant characters to meet the needs of your quota can be fun!  Turn it into an after-work game.  Make flash cards and mix them up to create really fun combinations.  Make some popcorn, sit back, and just watch as you find new and exciting ways to water down your plot.

You can NEVER have too many characters in your game.  Remember, if you have 4 heterosexual options, you better damn well have 4 homosexual and bisexual options too!

Ignore your budget!  Someone in accounting is trying to tell you that there isn't enough money or time to make sure you have equal representation?  Politely remind this narrow-minded, upper-class, white, elitist, entitled male that you have a job to do, but don't expect them to understand.

Ignore your customer demographic and target audience because they are just a bunch of bigoted, heterosexual, white men who don't understand the morality of your cause.  Let's face it, wouldn't you rather have 100,000 marginalized, unrepresented individuals love your game, then 1.5 million people who may or may not be victims of such injustice?  Of course you would!

Never design villains based on marginalized groups, minorities, or offensive stereotypes with one exception: evil, white men.  If you want to be creative and use a different type of villain, make sure to make it an alien or monster, as these are pretty neutral and keep you on the moral high-ground.

Issue all your employees to wear special lenses that allow them to see things from varying perspectives.  Worried about what feminists might think?  Issue the feminist lens.  Worried about blacks?  Give them the black lens.  Always make sure you have a wide variety of lenses just in case.  You can order these lenses for your company at www.lenses4victims.com, now with bulk discounts for racists!

Congratulations!  You're now ready to start creating morally sound video games based on diverse and equal representation. 

All satire aside, this is something people need to realize.  The creative process is not about meeting quotas, creating diverse enviornments, or fulfilling some nonsenical and twisted sense of "morality."  Instead, it is about acheiving artistic success. 

For writers, it is about fleshing out your ideas on paper and turning them into a compelling and interesting stories, or not, depending on your intention.  For video game developers such as Bioware, it is about sitting down and creating an RPG that tells a great story, giving players options to dictate the course of that story, and, from a business perspective, meeting the budget and selling a lot of copies.

In the end, history has proven that when the creative process and common sense are trumped by something like diversity for diversity's sake, then quality is destroyed.  This isn't to say that quality and diversity can't coincide, but that the drive for quality must come first and must be one's peak interest.